friday
I’ve been gone for a while. I don’t really have any great reason(s) why I’ve been gone, I’ve just felt kind of “unmotivated” to write anything. I feel like I am falling behind in a few areas, not just with this blog.
I had a student come in to my office this morning. He is an older student, maybe in his 50s or 60s. Anyway, during yesterday’s class a question came up that no one (including me) knew the answer to. I gave my best guess (and told them that’s what it was…a guess). This student who came in today ventured his guess, which was different from mine. I tried to move forward, though, because I didn’t want the class to get confused and bogged down by the unimportant question that had arisen. Anyway, this student came in and told that he felt like I had “snubbed” him or that I had shut him down in class. He said that this wasn’t the first time I he had felt so.
I have had this come up before, but only with a certain colleague (with whom I butt heads all the time. I try to just stay away from the guy, because try as I might, I can’t seem to keep from “insulting his intelligence…”). So now I am really concerned and self-concious about how my actions are being perceived. Am I really such a harsh person? Am I really so dictatorial and pompous?
I’ll probably be worrying about this for the next few weeks. I wish that I wouldn’t, but I know that I will.
My wife told me the other day that one of the things she liked about me when we first met was that I seemed like someone who didn’t care what other people thought. In a large way I don’t, but I also want to be liked. I almost need to be liked. Why is everything about me so bloody complicated?!
