sunday
I though today went really well until about 10 minutes ago. I don’t really know what happened, but right now I am really frustrated.
I have decided (I think) that I hate blogging. I used to think it was kind of fun, but now all it does is make me feel more isolated.
When my wife and were first married, she was really diligent about writing in her journal everyday. After a while I actually started to get jealous of her journal, because I felt like she would turn to it instead of me. She wold confide in it before she’d confide in me. I think that this is what is happening with my blog(s). I use them as my place to “confide” instead of actually making intimate and meaningful connections with people.
I am not sure what that means as far as the future of this blog, but for now, here is the next chapter from Comfortable with Uncertainty:
“Encountering the Edge.” The “edge” that Chödrön is talking about here is the edge of “egolessness.” And what, exactly is that? Basically “egolessness” is when we are no longer giving in to longing, no longer repressing things, and when we are no longer trying to avoid things. When we simply allow everything to be, and allow ourselves to be. There is a peace that we inevitably encounter when we can reach that point.
As far as encountering that edge, Chödrön helps us to see that it is a somewhat uncomfortable place, at first, and we can prepare ourselves, therefore, in meditation. Meditation is the place where we can practice dealing with that, and where we can actually learn to exist that way.
